Sarah's Thoughts & Imaginings

Blogging? Who's Got the Time?

2010-01-21T14:27:00.010-06:00

So we have pretty much given up on trying to squeeze time for blogging into our day. The only reason I'm even posting now is so that Kendi's Bee-bee can see some pictures of her. Enjoy, Bee-bee - we love you!

Looks comfortable. She always falls asleep like this. I would pull her legs out but I wouldn't dare risk waking her up.

Crawling!!

My Sweet Girl - 4 1/2 Months

2009-11-02T21:49:00.004-06:00

It's been a long time since I've posted! We are doing great, aside from Matt and I being stuck in the rut of staying up late and every morning being exhausted and saying, "Tonight we're going to bed early" and then going to bet late again. It's just so nice to have some uninterrupted time that we don't want to go to bed.

Hopefully soon, I'll get back to blogging more of my thoughts and actually what's going on with us, and not just pictures. I'm just so busy with K and blogging is low priority. Maybe one day I'll figure out how to be more efficient!

We're still getting adjusted to life with Kendi, our sweet, BUSY little girl. It's amazing how fast she is growing and changing. She chuckles, sits up (and falls over frequently), chews on EVERYTHING, eats baby food and LOVES it, sucks on her toes, and reaches out to touch your face. Enjoy the pictures, the ones at the bottom were her three month pictures that Jessica Gray took.

Kendi's First Game Day and other pics

2009-09-14T23:18:00.003-05:00

Kendi's First Game Day - ready to go!

Did they get the touchdown?!

Bath Time!

Nappin' in the car, sporting Uncle Johnny's old jacket.

A Great Freebie-ish

2009-09-14T21:36:00.005-05:00

Mindy told me about this totally awesome freebie (see below). I added -ish on the post title because you do have to pay S & H, which is $8.95. However, I paid $35 for the nursing cover I have, which is ridiculous, so nine bucks is pretty good...

For being a WhatToExpect.com member we would like to offer you a promo code for a free patterned nursing cover at uddercovers.com ~ you just pay the S&H! If you don't plan on nursing, they make great baby shower and Holiday gifts!

The promo code is "backorder".

Go to uddercovers.com , click on "Shop Now", select the product you would like (they also have 3 piece gift sets available with this promotion) and you will automatically be directed to the center of the page where you can enter in the promo code!

This backorder promotion gives you a $32.00 discount off your total order no matter what you put in your cart! This promotion code is valid once per transaction, so you can order as many times as you would like!

Let all your friends know too, as this promotion can't last long!

Best Thing Ever #2 for Breastfeeding Moms

2009-09-09T23:21:00.008-05:00

I am now a huge fan of the Gap Nursing section at Gap.com. They have so many cute clothes for nursing moms. I love these:

1. Keyhole Nursing Dress

2. Crossover short sleeved nursing top

3. Medela Soft Cup Nursing Bra on sale for $30.00 at Gap. (They sell for $39.99 at South Plains Medical Supply here in Lubbock. Of course, you can go in and try them on and you don't have to pay shipping. It may come out the same anyways.) This is my favorite one so far. Besides this one I've only tried other cheap off brand nursing bras, and for me they don't work. I wish I could wear the cheapies, but I can't.

Hope some of you preggos and breastfeeders like these! Oh, and Gap.com has a bunch of cute, cute maternity clothes (especially love the dresses) on sale right now. Makes me wish I was pregnant again... wait, WHAT am I saying? Man, how fast time flies and how fast you forget how anxious you were to get that baby out. (:

By the way, Kendi rolled over for the first time on Sunday! I put her down for some tummy time, and as soon as I set her down she just flipped over like she had done it a million times. Probably had something to do with the fact that she HATES laying on her tummy. So much for tummy time.

The Best Idea Ever for Breastfeeding Moms

2009-09-04T20:18:00.004-05:00

Ok, so I wish I had had this (is it ok to say had had?) from day one of having Kendi! I think it's genius! I think this is a must have for breastfeeding moms, and no, they are not paying me to say that (although I wish they would). This eliminates worrying about flashing your postpartum midriff if you're trying to feed your baby in public. I don't know about most of you, but I am into keeping the muffin-toppy stretch-marky-ness of post pregnancy to myself. (: Nursing covers are great, but a lot of them don't have enough fabric to cover the hooters and keep the rest of you covered, especially on the sides or back. With this cami, your baby gets full access, and you don't have to lift it up. Just wear your nursing bra under (or over it) and another shirt over it. This is especially nice if you have a wiggly baby or are having problems with feeding, because it's hard to keep the nursing cover in place just right. It's kind of expensive, but for me, totally worth it. They are $33.00 if you order directly from the makers, and right now they are having free shipping. Just click on the picture to go to the website. I hope this helps make some of your lives easier... I know it will for me!

Life Savers

2009-09-02T22:47:00.010-05:00

Could not have survived parenthood so far without the following:

1. Sound Spa & Projector (available at Walmart) Kendi (swaddled like a burrito) watches the projector on her ceiling and listens to Twinkle Little Star while sucking on her pacifier, until she falls asleep.

2. Vacuum Cleaner (don't suck a hole in your carpet) and/or Vacuum Cleaner CD (available at Colic Shop online, or I can burn it for you. I don't think there is any copyright on vacuum noise. Last I checked it wasn't on any best seller lists or top ten charts.)

3. Old-school wind-up swing. I can't tell you where to get one. My cousin gave us the one we have. It's more like a swinging chair and I think she likes it because we have to stuff so much stuff in there with her to prop her up, that it makes her feel secure. For some reason she cries in the nice battery powered swing that she can lay down in. I think she just likes to make us work harder. (:

4. Pacifiers (Kendi likes the Mam ones)

5. Last, but not least, DADDY! Thanks for being awesome, Matt. You're the best Daddy ever. I love you with all my pea-pickin' little heart! And so does Kendi.

Crap, it Hurts!

2009-09-01T23:49:00.003-05:00

I miss my dad! A couple months after he died someone told me that it never gets any easier. At the time I thought, "Thanks a lot", but it's true. It doesn't get easier, but you learn how to live with it. I'm hopeful that I can make it to a point where I can think about Dad and recall memories of him and feel happy. So far, even happy memories seem to sting when I think about him because I miss him so much. In earthly time, he's been with His savior for a little over a year. Seems he's been gone a lot longer though. I know God must have wanted to talk to Dad face to face so he took him home. It was time for Dad to throw of his earthly chains and shackles and become truly whole. No more tiredness or sadness that he struggled with when he was here. I have still never met ANYONE who is as compassionate, gentle, strong, loving, kind, as my dad. I hate the times that I didn't appreciate him. If you have a daddy, don't wait for father's day. Go tell him how much you love and appreciate him and thank him for raising you to be the person you are. Talk to him as often as you can.

Kendi Pics and Video

2009-08-31T23:12:00.009-05:00

I'm sorry I haven't posted anything other than pictures lately, but I'm doing good just to get those up. I'm posting this video and pictures to meet the demands of grandma and a certain Auntie Em'. Kendi loves you both - hope you enjoy the pictures and video!

Tired Daddy

2009-08-19T01:36:00.004-05:00

Taking care of a baby wears out mommy AND daddy. (: We love our busy little girl!

Kendi Pictures

2009-08-15T00:43:00.006-05:00

Breastfeeding is a Battlefield

2009-08-08T20:39:00.007-05:00

Ok, so I haven't posted since the day before Kendi was born. Which means I guess it's a little bit late for a "Kendi's Here!" post. So instead I'll just catch you up on what we've been up to for the past 7 weeks. We've had some ups and downs, but we are SO in love with this sweet little girl that we've been blessed with. The first week of her life, she mostly slept, and we thought we were getting the hang of the baby thing. The next 5 weeks of her life, Kendi cried most of the time when she wasn't eating or sleeping, and getting her to sleep seemed nearly impossible at times. They call it colic, which only means they don't know why your baby cries and they don't know anything to do for it. It's basically a living nightmare, and the sleep deprivation only makes it worse. It's an awful thing to have this tiny person that you love so much be so upset all the time and there's nothing you can do to fix it. I can see how "living nightmare" might seem like an exaggeration, unless you've had a baby with colic, you understand. Our only relief was to run the vacuum cleaner, which for some reason soothes her. Week 6 we took off to Glorieta, NM with Kendi for a band trip. And she did wonderfully most of the time. 6 weeks is often the magical age when colicky babies start to improve apparently and it was true for Kendi. Sometimes we have little relapses, but for the most part she seems to be a MUCH happier baby, which means much happier parents as well. We love our Kendi girl and are so grateful for her!

I am determined that Kendi gets the best possible food, which of course is mommy's milk. However, we've had a myriad of difficulties with breastfeeding. I also heard from a lot of moms that switching to formula cures colic. Formula sounds really tempting at 3 am when you've had no sleep, baby is crying and won't sleep, and your nipples have painfully been turned into mincemeat. But we are persevering! I'll leave you with a story of our latest breastfeeding adventure...

It was Friday night at the Collegiate conference in Glorieta. I had just started using the nursing cover, aka a "hooter hider", and I was getting brave. I had fed her the night before during the service on the front pew, so at that point, I was a professional with this thing. The band was sound checking before the service, but Kendi was hungry. So I sat down on the front pew with the nursing shield, assuming we would have a quick, calm feeding. Unfortunately, she was already overly hungry, and somehow we managed to get tangled up in the thing (it was also dark in there and I couldn't see what I was doing) and she just got more and more upset until she had given up on trying to eat and was just crying, hard. Frustrated, I just stood up and marched to the bathroom - me, baby, and the nursing shield. I couldn't get her to latch on and all of a sudden there were 10 girls in the small, 2-stalled bathroom. I figured they didn't want a show, so I just went in one of the stalls, and plopped down on the toilet. I thought now that I could see what I was doing and we weren't all tangled up, that I could easily get her to start eating. Wrong. At that point she began the horrible cry that doesn't even sound like crying, it's more like screaming. Then I realized her diaper had leaked and her outfit was soaking wet. I figured that might be why she was upset, so I quickly stripped off her wet clothes and diaper. That didn't phase her, so now I was sitting on a toilet, my top exposed, holding a naked (except for socks), screaming baby. Then someone in the stall next to us flushed the toilet and the sound distracted Kendi enough for her to calm down for just a moment. I thought this was my salvation, so I began repeatedly flushing the toilet that I was sitting on. I'm sure all the girls in the bathroom were wondering what in the world I was doing in there. The flushing didn't work for long, so I finally gave up, threw the nursing cover over my naked baby and went back out to the sanctuary where her diaper bag was. I got her clothed and diapered again while she continued her crying marathon. I told Laney I wasn't going to be able to play for the service and then I started looking for a place (hopefully better than a toilet) to keep trying to feed her. I went in one of the classrooms behind the sanctuary, but wasn't having any success with her. I heard the music start (Kendi LOVES the music, it always soothes her to sleep) and I decided to try and feed her back stage in the hope it would distract her from crying long enough for her to eat. As I bolted for the back stage, I realized I didn't have any shoes on. At that point, who cares? I grabbed a chair and hid behind a stack of tables and tried one more time. It worked! I was relieved, but nervous the whole time that someone would stumble upon us and be embarrassed (I had abandoned the nursing shield somewhere along the way). Kendi finished eating and I went back outside and finally got her to sleep. Whew. What a night. Sometimes you just have to see the humor in the midst of the misery...

Jehovah Jireh

2009-06-17T11:24:00.006-05:00

Well, there is no baby news to update on... yet (They will induce me Tuesday or Wednesday next week if she hasn't come by then). So I thought I'd just take the opportunity to share how God has been providing for us over and over again.

One of my cousins gave us a used car seat that seemed decent and we were planning on using it for Kendi. So I didn't register for one and of course had already spent all the gift cards from showers and such. But then I decided since that one was probably at least 8 years old, it would be better to get a new one, for safety reasons. The straps are a little different on the newer ones, and they have the bubble thing to tell you if you have it installed at the right angle. I was feeling like I would be a bad mom to scrimp on something important like a car seat. As I was in line at the checkout to buy a new car seat with the credit card, I thought to myself, "Maybe I should wait and just see if God wants to provide another way for us to get one. Wouldn't it be great to just give this need up to Him, and see how he provides?" But then the doubting kicked in and I decided I just needed to get it before she came, and bla bla bla bla. Well, God obviously knew that it was going to be a while before she came, because we are still waiting. And I just wish that I would have trusted Him, because the NEXT DAY some very dear, godly, generous, big hearted friends gave us some money because they wanted to help out with a CAR SEAT or a pack 'n' play because they knew I was thinking of getting those things. When I saw the money, I had the biggest lump in my throat... combination gratefulness to God, my generous friends and realization of my undeserving, wimpy, untrusting nature. And no, I'm not just putting myself down or being harsh. Really, my heart is black and despicable without Jesus and my day to day decisions become that way when I leave Him out! About a week later, God provided AGAIN... so we paid off our credit card, which had gotten racked up with some doctor bills, baby stuff, and computer expenses for Matt's business. And not only do we have the car seat, we have a pack 'n' play too. I don't share this to be like, "Whoa, look at all the "stuff" we have now," but just to say that God provides, and sometimes that's when we deserve it the least! A few months ago, on Oprah, she was interviewing a minister that had lost his retirement money due to the economy, and his church's giving was down, so he and his wife were barely making it. I don't remember the exact quote, but he said something like, "I haven't lost my faith, I still believe, but faith doesn't put bread on the table." I just have to say YES IT DOES!! Well, God does, and sometimes it's even when our faith is lacking.

Here is Matt with the first "provisions" from our garden that we have been able to eat - zuccini squash and a cucumber. Still no tomatoes yet, but I'm sure we'll have some soon. My favorite! Yum!!

Everyone, please pray for Kendi to come before Tuesday so I won't have to be induced! I am ready to meet this baby girl!

Yeah...Yeah...God is in the House!

2009-06-03T22:32:00.004-05:00

This baby got prayed and prophetized out - so c'mon everybody, let's pray Kendi out! I'm so ready. It could happen... check out this video! (It's a little whacked and freaky, but amazing!) WARNING! Before you click play, know that this is a pretty graphic video - it shows a woman giving birth!

Cankles and Bugs, but Still No Kendi!

2009-06-01T17:08:00.015-05:00

Are you tired of baby posts yet? Haha, well you're in luck, because this is only a semi-baby post. And no, Kendi is not here yet. She is still there, in my belly. Not so much as a fake contraction, but she sure does feel heavy today. I say that every day, but today really, really heavy. Lately my cankles have gotten really bad too. Take a look for yourself...

Ok, ok, so those aren't really my cankles, but I feel really sorry for whoever they do belong to. Also, I think they have toe fungus. Here are my real cankles, which look pretty good after that.

Aww, here is Matt, nurturing the garden and working in the yard. Oh, and making me work in the garden too. Can you believe it?! What a meanie.

I've declared war on some bugs that are ruining my rosebushes. Unfortunately, I haven't had much luck. It's really sad, because they had a jillion blooms on them, but the bugs eat them and they look crappy. Also, I clipped all of them off in an effort to get rid of these pests (which I think are called thrips) so my rosebushes are all bloomless. I read that spraying down the bushes with water can help by knocking the bugs off and drowning the larvae, but that made the leaves turn brown. Oh well. If you come to see Kendi when she gets here and wonder why my rosebushes look so pathetic, now you know.

I hope the next post has something to do with me going into labor and having a baby!

Come on, Baby!

2009-05-20T13:30:00.002-05:00

I'm ready. The bags are ready. The room is ready. Kendi, are you ready?

At my appointment today my doctor said I'm 1-2 cm dilated, so I guess barely more than last week, and I'm 40% effaced. So, all good signs that this baby will be able to get out when she is ready. It's still almost 3 weeks until my due date, but it feels like a million years. Patience has never been my thing. Gotta try and enjoy the last bit of Matt's and my time as just "us" and the fun "waddly" stage of pregnancy. I know I'll miss my belly jumping around after she comes, so I should enjoy that too, while I can. Ok, hope you enjoyed my pep talk to myself.

Matt and I have been arguing about who is the better parent. He thinks he should get it by default just for being cool (at least he thinks he is). My argument is that my swollen sausage feet show my dedication to being a mom. I think when she gets here that we'll measure it by who changes the most dirty diapers. I'm planning on letting Matt win that one.

I can't wait to introduce Kendi to the world!

Kendi Claree

2009-05-06T21:55:00.003-05:00

Today at the post office, I asked to borrow some tape for a package I was mailing. I got the stare from the clerk lady and then she half way smiled and said, "Well, ok, but just for the baby." I laughed and taped my box and thought, "Well, whatever works." Then we started having the pregnancy small talk you have with strangers on a daily basis once you get a good sized belly. Anyhow, she asked me what the name was and I when I told her Kendi Claree, she repeated it back perfectly to me, which is not normal. I told her that normally people are like, "Candy? Kennedy? What?" And then she said, "No, I got it alright, but you know when people see her name, everybody's gonna think she's black." (This lady was also black, just in case you were thinking this was a prejudice white person.) How do you say the right thing after that? Anyhow, it cracked me up and I said I would be perfectly ok with people thinking that. I would take it as a compliment that the name I picked sounds unique enought to be an African-american name. And then she told me to quit bumping Kendi's poor little head on the counter. Anyhow, I thought it was funny, but it's probably one of those you-had-to-be-there things. And I do bump Kendi's poor little head on stuff all the time - good thing she has all that cushioning in there!

Almost 35 Weeks Belly & Pregnant Ramblings

2009-05-03T00:03:00.006-05:00

This is a long post, so if you just want to see the belly pictures, scroll to the bottom. (:

On Thursday, Kendi's movements seemed drastically decreased to me and I worried all day. It wasn't getting any better, so on Friday morning I called the doctor and they sent us for a stress test. You sit in a really comfy chair and they put monitors on your belly. Then, every time the baby moves, you hit a button. If the heart rate goes up during movement, the baby is doing good, not under stress. If it goes down during movement, then the baby is under stress and then I guess they would try to figure out why and if necessary, get the baby out. Anyhow, Kendi is just fine and her heart rate was increasing when she moved, like it should. I really thought she was ok, but I knew that if I didn't go and it turned out that there was something wrong and something happened to her, I would be devastated that I could have done something, but didn't. I think it's better to play it safe and know for sure. I don't know why she has slowed down so much, maybe she's tired from growing so much! I remember getting growing pains when I was little, so I wonder if babies in the womb get growing pains since they are growing so rapidly. Who knows?

I sure do love this baby with all my heart already! I can't even imagine how I'll feel when I get to hold her and look at her for the first time. Amid the hormonal mood swings, aches, pains, and all the other yucky things about pregnancy, it's easy to get discouraged sometimes. But, you know that to hold that sweet tiny baby will make it all disappear in an instant. I remember last summer how sad I was about the 2 miscarriages that I'd had. It's hard not knowing if you'll ever be able to hold your own baby, that's a part of you and part of the person that you love. But more than that, I was just so so sad about my 2 babies that I couldn't see or hold, and I was afraid that if I got pregnant again that it would be the same story all over again. It's not just that you want a baby, it's that you don't want to lose a baby. I hope that makes sense. We were doing a camp at Zephyr Encampment near Corpus and it was just so heavy on my heart. I decided to read the passage about Hannah in the Bible that had encouraged me before. This time, what stuck out to me was different. This is what I felt like God wanted me to focus on (after Hannah had wept and prayed that God would give her a child) 1 Sam 1:17-18 "Eli answered, 'Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant you what you have asked of him." She said, "May your servant find favor in your eyes.' Then she went her way and ate something, and her face was no longer downcast." I knew God was telling me that it was time to stop focusing on my loss and to focus on his provision instead. I felt a peace that God was going to provide us, somehow with what he wanted us to have. At the time, I didn't know exactly what that meant. I didn't necessarily think that his answer would be to allow me to get and stay pregnant. I thought He might let us adopt, or that he might lead us down another road that would have us doing something other than starting a family right away. There were definitely still times of sadness for me, even after I felt that peace, but it wasn't ever that same horrible feeling that I can't really even describe. And God's way of providing for us turned out to be our sweet baby girl, Kendi! I'm so grateful for her and for my wonderful husband who has been an amazing friend and gargantuan encouragement all along the way.

Alright, here they are - belly pics. Whoa, whoa whoa, I didn't even realize how big it was until I saw the pics. (: I'm sure some of you who have already had kids could say, aww that's nothing, but when it's your first baby and you had no idea your body could stretch like that, it's pretty amazing!

Prayer Request - for Alisha

2009-04-23T17:28:00.004-05:00

Please pray for my little brother Johnny's wife, Alisha. She was walking out of work today and was hit by a car. I know she is conscious, but not feeling well and not able to talk much. I don't know any of the details or how hard she was hit yet, since it just happened. Johnny was on his way to the salon where she works and he's supposed to give me an update as soon as he can. Please pray for her and our families.

***Update:

Alisha is okay, no major injuries. She was just pretty shaken up by the whole thing, and I would be too. She's scraped, bruised, and sore but otherwise doing fine. Thanks for praying!

The Poopie Bathroom

2009-04-20T23:38:00.002-05:00

At the office where I work, I am the only person upstairs. Everything else is storage. Downstairs, there are a whole bunch of law offices. There is a set of bathrooms downstairs, and a set upstairs. I noticed that when I'm working that people will come up and go to the back and then a few minutes later go back downstairs and just completely ignore me, and not even say hi. For a while, I wondered what in the world they were doing and just figured there was some filing or something in one of the offices used for storage. Then one day, right after a lady had come up there, gone to the back, then headed back downstairs, I just happened to go to the restroom. When I walked in, I was nearly knocked over by the smell. I just decided to wait for a while before I went back in. That was last week. Then, today, the same thing happened again, and there was even more evidence left behind. And I never poop there, but I have to suffer from everyone else's pooping. Ug, my bathroom is the POOPING POTTY!! I am utterly aghast at the situation. Oh well, what can you do? Maybe I'll put up a no dumping sign and see if that helps.

Maternity Store Slogans

2009-04-11T20:24:00.005-05:00

I just bought more maternity clothes, even though I have less than 9 weeks left to go. It seems like I've just outgrown everything I already have! But I hate spending money on clothes that I'm not going to wear much longer. Oh well, it's one of those well-worth-it things about having a baby. Anyhow, I came up with slogans for all the maternity stores here in Lubbock. If you're pregnant, I hope they make your belly jiggle with laughter. (:

JC Penney-
"We make maternity clothes your grandma would wear if she was pregnant."

Motherhood Maternity-
"Our jeans give you mom butt, no matter what."

Kohl's-
"We barely have any selection, so you don't have to make any decisions."

Target-
"Buy a Bella Band! That's about all we have."

Old Navy-
"We have a great clearance selection of winter maternity clothes! So what if it's spring and you'll have your baby before next winter? They're cheap!"

K-Mart(yes they have maternity clothes!)-
"Well, we're K-mart - what did you expect?"

New Blog!

2009-04-06T00:12:00.004-05:00

I'm starting a new blog, called (ok, don't laugh now) Lubbock Love. (: It's really just a blog to facilitate community among Lubbock women and a way to share good ideas, great finds, and good deals around Lubbock. I think it's going to be a lot of fun! I'm just barely getting started and there is only one post up so far, but I'm going to be working on the site a lot to get it up and going. So please stop by, tell your friends about it, and leave a comment!

Lubbock Love

Baby Registering

2009-04-04T21:37:00.019-05:00

Kendi is all registered up! My tips on registering for your first baby:

-If you take Matt with you, don't wander around aimlessly. His eyes will glaze over.

-I enjoyed going by myself to one store we registered at. I can wander as aimlessly as I want to without feeling bad that Matt's eyes are glazed and he's no longer responsive. (Matt really is the best, most supportive husband ever, I just took too long.)

-Take a good friend with you to register somewhere really fun, like a baby boutique. Make some memories! If that friend wants you to register for a $40 pink tutu, you should consider it (although I didn't). Sorry Christy! Maybe I'll add it on later. (:

-Remember you can edit online, in case you're like me and you go crazy scanning slightly different versions of one thing over and over because you like them and then you realize your baby doesn't need 15 pairs of mittens to keep from scratching their face.

Stuff for some reason I can't stop scanning:

1. crib sheets - I think between everywhere we registered, I counted up about 10 crib sheets. I don't think we'll need that many, so I deleted some of them.

2. gerber tagless t-shirt - I love these! It's hard to find them in all the sizes though. My little brother used to wear them all the time. I want to use cloth diapers, so these are nice instead of onesies if you don't want to have to put the rubber pants on to keep the onesie from getting wet.

And, here's some random pictures from my life recently...

Christy trying on the belly pillow. Looks completely natural and not lumpy at all.

Here's me trying on the pillow. The lady said it adds on 3 months to your pregnancy, so this is what I would look like if I were 10 months pregnant. Yikes.

This is my friend Kira's little girl Layla - isn't she sweet? I love her haircut.

My mom is trying to somewhat declutter her house, so she gave me all our old stuffed toys. I should probably throw them away because they stink, but I haven't brought myself to do it yet. So this was my attempt to air them out.

I finally got to see a bear. Unfortunately it lives in Bossier City at the Bass Pro Shop and it's stuffed.

Free Gao - www.FreeGao.com

2009-04-02T00:03:00.004-05:00

Back in February I wrote a post about Gao Zhisheng, a Christian attorney that was kidnapped by the Chinese government. He has now been in captivity for 57 days and is most definitely being tortured. I received an update on the situation today and just wanted to share it with you. Please sign the petition to free Gao and send an email on his behalf. It's a small thing to do for one of our brothers in Christ that's suffering. It only takes a couple of minutes and that's one thing we can all afford to give.

The silence from the highest levels of the Chinese government regarding Gao Zhisheng's kidnapping is deafening. Christian human rights attorney Gao Zhisheng has now been missing 57 days. When one brave reporter asked the Chinese Foreign Ministry spokesperson about Gao, "the official paled and was visibly shaken," according to a Western journalist who was an eyewitness.

Gao Zhisheng was last seen being hauled away from his home in Shaanxi province by more than a dozen police officers on February 4. According to ChinaAid sources, Gao is being severely tortured. Because Gao fearlessly cried out to the free world, revealing the abuses of the Chinese government against house church Christians and others persecuted in China, Chinese authorities want to silence his voice. Now, you can speak out on his behalf.

Gao Zhisheng's wife and children, who have also been abused and tormented by Chinese authorities, escaped to the U.S. three weeks ago. They are grateful for the more than 36,000 who are speaking out by signing the petition and sending e-mails, but more help is needed. Will you partner with us to obtain 100,000 signatures and continue to bombard Chinese government, businesses and media with e-mails calling for Gao's release? Please forward this e-mail to friends and family and encourage them to sign the petition.

Lend your voice to sustain the outcry for Gao Zhisheng's release. Go to www.FreeGao.com to: continue to send e-mails to officials - new e-mails are posted regularly. Make a contribution online. Help us continue to press for Gao's release -- by sustaining this cry for justice.

28 Weeks, Finally - Spring!

2009-03-17T01:01:00.004-05:00

My big o' belly is now 28 weeks in the making. Quite a spectacular specimen as far as bellies go. I have actually been worried that maybe it's too big. (: (I'm praying she doesn't grow to 11 pounds like her daddy.) Everyone assures me that I'm just paranoid. According to babycenter.com, Kendi is 2 & 1/4 pounds right now. And what's the first thing that pops in your mind when you think 2 & 1/4 pounds? Why a head of Chinese cabbage of course! At least that's what they compare it to. And she is approximately 14.8 inches from head to heel. For the first time today, at least that I've noticed, my belly looked like a Mexican jumping bean. She must've had hiccups, but on top of that I think she was doing the fetus boogy woogy. I just sat there for half an hour watching the acrobatics.

These are some Jonquil bulbs Aunt Jackie gave me and they were the first sign of life that I started to see outside this spring. I love them, they're so pretty! Thanks, Aunt Jackie.

These are my fabulous heirloom tomato plants. Not much to look at yet, but they're slowly growing. Not much happening on top of the soil, but hopefully they're getting some root-age underneath.

Matt and I are going home on Wednesday. We're going to get to hang out with my little brother Johnny and his wife Alisha. I can't wait! We just don't get to spend much time together since we live so far away. Also, my Aunty Janet (Wanet) who is fabulous with a camera is going to take pictures of me and my preggo belly, so hopefully we'll get some fun pics from that, and I'll post them soon.

One exciting note for us: we finally settled the lawsuit against us for damages to a building from a wreck I had in October 2006. We are paying them the amount for the original insurance estimate, which means they aren't getting any additional money from suing us and we never had to go to court. We're just relieved that it's over. If you ever get sued for something ridiculous, don't be afraid to "fight back". Even our lawyer in the beginning tried to get us to just pay the entire amount we were getting sued for. I just wouldn't take that for an answer until they had proved to us every cent that we owed. They made several extra improvements to their building that had nothing to do with damages that I caused and were trying to get us to pay for them. If we had just done what they told us we would have been paying over double the amount that we are now.

I really want to go to Honduras again. It's on my mind every day. Have you ever been somewhere that constantly haunts you to come back? One place we went while we were there, they called an orphanage, but it wasn't really. It was sort of a school where kids could come for the day, learn, and get fed. It was sponsored by a local church. In order to be able to go, a child had to have lost at least one parent. Some of the kids were orphans, but lived with an aunt or grandparent, or something like that. The main woman working there with the kids the day we went, wasn't much better off than the kids. She was as much in need of the handouts we brought for the kids as the kids were. In fact, we were worried she was going to take some of the kids stuff for herself, so we labeled it all with their names and gave her the extras for her family. I just wish those kids had people in their lives to LOVE LOVE LOVE them unconditionally. They were so hungry for it. I think of all the love that Kendi is going to get when she's born, from family and friends and it's so heartbreaking to me that so many of the children I met there don't get to experience that. I know there are very many loving families there as well with very loved children. It's just the ones without it that I can't stop thinking about. These kids were so bright and smart and I know they just have so much to give to the world! I love the unique names over there. Here are some that I wrote down in my journal.

Isamar Yolibeth Ramos
Daniella Marla Soto
Darly Josue Medina
Ana Mariela Almendore
Yeni Loani Soto
Javier Alexis Torres

These were some kids that we met in one of the villages. One little girl helped me write a bunch of the names down, since I had no idea how to spell them, even when I could understand what they were saying. (:

Enough Honduras reminiscing for now. It's time for me to go to bed. Where have you been that haunts you?

My Spring Toms Picks

2009-03-06T01:52:00.003-06:00

Ok, so I'm trying to budget right now, which means no new Toms for me. So I'm going to console myself by blogging about them. Toms has come out with their new line for spring and these are definitely my favorite Toms yet. My #1 pick is the new Denim Rope Sole. These are so cute!

My second favorite, the new Navy Tye Dye Toms, although I would prefer them just blue, without the purple...

And good news for all you vegans out there. If you wanted to buy toms but just couldn't bear to buy a shoe with a leather sole, they now have a faux suede sole in some toms. These are my favorite vegan pair:

And don't forget, if you buy a pair, a free pair will be provided for a child in need. See? Buying shoes helps people.

Dimes

2009-03-03T22:37:00.002-06:00

So we’ve all heard of March of Dimes, right? Their website says, “We're dedicated to improving the health of babies by preventing birth defects, premature birth and infant mortality.” But did you know that the original purpose of the organization when it was founded in 1938 was to cure Polio? The Polio epidemic hit during a time of economic crisis which posed a problem for fundraising. Finding a cure without any funds? Impossible. At the time, most charitable donations were made by the wealthy, and in times of economic depression, even the wealthy are pinching pennies. So instead of asking a few rich people to give a lot of money, the entire country was asked to give a little by sending a dime or two to FDR at the White House. Millions of dollars were raised as a result and eventually scientists were able to come up with a Polio vaccine.

I work part-time now for a non-profit organization called Pathway Evangelism. They publish gospel tracts and pamphlets and such. Most of the donors that support us are senior citizens (drives me crazy trying to read their handwriting). There is one lady that sends a $1 bill once a month or so. The first time I saw her donation I rolled my eyes thinking, “Oh brother, how hilarious. Why even bother?” Then I thought to myself that I was starting to sound a little like a Pharisee. I vaguely remembered the widow’s two mites and what Jesus said, so I looked up the scripture for a refresher: Luke 21:1-4 And He looked up and saw the rich putting their gifts into the treasury, and He saw also a certain poor widow putting in two mites. So He said, “Truly I say to you that this poor widow has put in more than all; for all these out of their abundance have put in offerings for God, but she out of her poverty put in all the livelihood that she had.” Ooh, ouch, that hurt after I mentally mocked a senior citizen for sending a dollar. Then I got to thinking about ministries and organizations that are close to my heart that I always “wish” that I could give to. For some reason I always think that I have to give a lot, or not at all. Besides, we are still so blessed here in the United States and if I would quit buying maternity clothes, I could probably fund clean water for an entire village.

God doesn’t need our donations, but he gives us the privilege of promoting his name by helping others. I’m challenging myself to remember that in these times of economic uncertainty and distress that it’s not the amount that matters to Jesus, it’s the motive of our hearts. And it wasn’t the $10,000 donations that cured Polio, it was the dimes.

Some of my favorite organizations:

Save Darfur Coalition
Mocha Club
Blood:Water Mission
Voice of the Martyrs
963 Missions

If you have a heart for Africa, check out Mocha Club – you can sign up to have an automatic draft out of your account for only $7 per month (give up a couple of trips to the coffee shop) that will go toward the project of your choice.

I'd like to know what organizations are your favorite too.

Mission Belly Button Inside Out

2009-03-01T16:01:00.012-06:00

Well I'm not there yet, still an innie, but it's getting closer and closer - the belly is definitely growing, so here are the latest belly pics. Matt and Brian earned a steak dinner for us at Cagle's with their sweet bass and drum skills (they played for a fundraiser) and that's where these pics are from. Thanks, Christy, for being my belly photographer.

Homegrown Tomatoes & Babies

2009-02-25T23:17:00.013-06:00

I'm going to try to grow heirloom tomatoes from seed this year! I just got my seeds in the mail and I want to get them planted by next week. If I can't nurture these tomatoes to health, I'll be a little worried about Kendi! (: At least mothering instincts come naturally, I'm not sure if tomato nurturing does.

Did you know that you can compare hospitals at hhs.gov? I've been trying to decide between Covenant and UMC since we found out I was pregnant (Our insurance and my doctor does either). It's not that difficult, I just happen to be indecisive about everything from ice cream shops, olive oil brands, potting soil to hospitals. Matt and I did have a bad experience at Covenant (mostly Matt since he was the sick one) so I'm leery about going there. I also have dear friends that have had some issues there as well. However, the birthing center is a totally different realm from where Matt was. On almost all the comparisons at hhs.gov, UMC did better than Covenant. Even though none of the comparisons had anything to do with the labor and delivery, it still makes you wonder. Of course, all the billboards around town say that Covenant was voted #1 hospital in Lubbock like 3 years in a row. I think that Covenant may have some of the better doctors, but UMC seems like a better hospital to me overall. But wouldn't you think that a hospital is only as good as its doctors? Of course, I'm sure UMC has some great doctors too. Argg! See why I'm so indecisive? They're probably both good places to have a baby. If anyone with experience with labor & delivery at either hospital has any opinions, I'd like to hear 'em!

Did you know that you can send an email to the White House via an online contact form? I think it's pretty cool and I've already used it once. I like to think that President Obama read it himself. Now, if only he had time to reply, that would be cool.

Well to end this post, I leave you with pictures of Jude! Sorry they're not that great - Matt turned the flash off because he didn't want to hurt Jude's eyes. Sweet, but didn't do much for the pictures. Anyhow, he is just the sweetest little tiny baby! (Jude, not Matt) The picture where I'm making the face I think was mid-spitup, but that's beside the point. Note how giant my hands look compared to him! I sure can't wait for my sweet baby girl to finally get here! I have a feeling that if she ripens all the way (aka full term) she is going to be a big baby, unfortunately for the delivery process. (: My next sonogram is at 30 weeks and we're sitting at 25 right now. I'll let you know what they say about the size then. Right now, she's supposed to be the weight of an average rutabaga at 1 & 1/2 pounds. It's amazing to think that she will grow another 5-7 pounds in just the next 3 months! I just can't wait for the time to pass - this is worse than waiting for Christmas when you know your parents are going to get you the pony you always wanted.

As if Chained With Them...

2009-02-18T10:36:00.008-06:00

Last summer at Collegiate Week in Glorieta, we were challenged to remember and pray for Christians around the world who are persecuted for their faith. It's so easy to live our posh lives here and not to think about the suffering, wars, and imprisonment of others so far away. I am definitely guilty of this all the time. Hebrews 13:3 says, "Remember the prisoners as if chained with them—those who are mistreated—since you yourselves are in the body also." I signed up to get email updates from an organization called China Aid, whose goal is "with a mission to explore the truth, to tell the truth and to preserve the truth on the issue of religious freedom in China, particularly focusing on the fate of the unofficial church." I received an email today about one of our brothers in China who is suffering. Obviously we need to pray, and there is something else that we can do to help too. We can "urge UN and U.S. government officials to require accountability from the Chinese government for these abuses" by sending emails or writing letters to them. Below is the story from the email I received. For more info on where to send emails and letters on Gao's behalf, click here. For more news and to sign up for email updates, go to chinaaid.org.

Gao Zhisheng, part of the ChinaAid Legal Defense Team, was kidnapped by more than a dozen police on February 4. He has not been seen or heard from since. Gao wrote an account in his own words which reveals the severe torture he suffered for more than 50 days when he was first abducted. He wrote how he was forced to lie naked on the floor for 13 days and nights: "The electric shock baton was put all over me. And my full body; my heart, lungs and muscles began jumping under my skin uncontrollably. I was writhing on the ground in pain, trying to crawl away. Wang (one of the interrogators) then shocked me in my genitals…. Every time when I was tortured, I was always repeatedly threatened … 'Your death is sure if you share this with the outside world."

Gao's family is concerned that Gao may be experiencing the same abuse now. Because of his work defending underground Christians and others persecuted in China, the Chinese government has tried to silence him since 2005. His wife and two children have also been abused, tormented and cut off from the outside world during this time. ChinaAid calls all Christians and those who value human dignity and justice around the world to act on Gao Zhisheng’s behalf.

The b-b-b-belly

2009-02-14T00:13:00.016-06:00

Here is a 23 week belly pic. I wanted to post more, but I'm just not feeling all that photogenic right now. Still getting used to my glorious pregnancy figure. I'll try to post some more later.

Lame Bloggers

2009-02-13T00:18:00.004-06:00

Don't you hate those bloggers that rarely ever post? Sometimes they go 2-3 months without posting. So annoying. I'm sure most of you have given up on me by this time and so I can't really expect anyone to read this now. But here it is. Now, what was I going to post on here anyway?

Tonight was Paradigm and we had "the traveling team" as guest speakers. They did a great job, hopefully sparked all of our hearts about missions. Anyhow, this just set me to thinking once again about doing missions after you have kids. It's now too late for me to do any traveling mission trips before having kids, thus my thought pattern. (: I've been on 2 mission trips to Honduras and on both of those, almost everyone except for Matt and I had left their spouse or their spouse and kid(s) behind at home. One spouse graciously stayed behind (well hopefully it was gracious) to take care of the family so that the other could go on the trip. I know it seems like it would take all your energy to take care of kids if you brought them on the trip and it makes a lot more sense to leave them at home, but I want to take my kids on mission trips with me, even when they are really little. Is this totally unfeasable, unreasonable and irresponsible? This isn't a hypothetical question, I really would like your feedback. I think that even though it would be extra work, it would be a great way to connect with other mothers wherever you happened to be traveling. Motherhood is a universal language. It's easy for me to say I would take my child with me, but I have absolutely no practical experience. And I would have to take the risk of my kids getting sick from some crazy African germ or malaria or something. I would feel so guilty if something happened all because I wanted my family to experience missions together. So I'd like to know, would you take your kids to Africa, Honduras, China, or wherever? And what's the youngest you would take them with you? I don't know where Matt and I may end up. Maybe our whole family will live in another country, then I guess this whole point would be moot. I just know that wherever we live I want our kids to have memories as far back as they can remember or serving others and being "on mission". I have a former co-worker from LeTourneau that's now a missionary in Africa with a new baby. Check out 'Desert Fisher' from my blog list. It's interesting to read about their life and having a new baby on the mission field.

I'm at 23 weeks now so I've got quite the belly. I feel Kendi kicking around all the time now and I love it! Man, will 40 weeks ever get here? Gestating a human fetus takes forever! At least I'm not an elephant, they really take forever.

I promise to blog more. Matt is supposed to redesign this blog for me soon, but he's so busy doing work for all his paying clients. geez. Maybe if I tell him I'm not cooking for him until he redesigns it...

14 Weeks and the Christmas Tree

2008-12-12T18:04:00.002-06:00

We made it to 14 weeks! On one hand, I can't believe we're that far, but on the other, it seems like time is dragging and I just can't wait to be at 40 weeks. I'm already getting a baby bump which of course is very exciting and all my regular pants are extremely uncomfortable, so I went through my closet the other day and moved out all the clothes that I won't be able to wear until after the baby comes. It's funny to go to the store now and skip straight to the maternity racks (all 2 of them). It definitely simplifies your clothes shopping. Thanks to my mom and some great hand-me-downs from amazing friends, I have lots of cute stuff to wear and it's a lot of fun getting a new wardrobe.

Matt's business Matt's Designs is doing really great right now. It's so cool to see that his work always speaks for itself as far as the quality and creativity. A lot of his business comes from people who saw work that he did for other people. I'm so proud of him!

Another new development is that I'm quitting my job at Starbucks. As soon as I decided to quit another possible job opportunity opened up and I really hope that it works out. Starting out it would only be 1 day a week but it could increase to 2 days. It would be the perfect job for after the baby comes so I could get out of the house once in a while and earn some extra money, but not have to be away from the baby very much.

I hope everyone is enjoying the holiday season so far! I love love love our Christmas tree and I make Matt play guitar and sing Christmas carols with me almost every night. For some reason it has been a really peaceful, healing time for me. Lots of tears, but not the kind that you hate to cry, the kind that makes you feel better afterwards. I never thought a Christmas song could ever make me cry, but a lot changes when you lose someone close to you that you really love. The last verse to Away in a Manger goes,

Be near me, Lord Jesus,
I ask Thee to stay
Close by me forever
And love me I pray

Bless all the dear children
In Thy tender care
And fit us for heaven
To live with Thee there

When I think of children that are in His tender care, I think of my 2 babies that we lost and even though I never knew them, I miss them so much. My mom told me that before my dad died that she prayed that God would let him see his grandkids and I know that he really is seeing them now and that Dad is also in His tender care. But I miss them so much!

12 Weeks & Pregnancy Club Initiation

2008-11-26T20:20:00.004-06:00

We made it to 12 weeks!! (Babycenter - 12 weeks) I can't wait to have a better baby belly and to feel it move. CAN'T WAIT!! Did I mention I can hardly wait? Well, I can't, but I guess I'll have to. (: I had my first pregnancy throwup a couple of nights ago, so I feel like I've been officially initiated into the pregnancy club now. (I'm sure you're all thrilled to know that!) Everything is going great as far as we know, so not too much to update on. I have to wait until 20 weeks for the next sonogram, which is KILLER. I wish we could have one every other day. I did rent a baby heart doppler so that we can hear the baby's heartbeat, which is a wonderful thrill and comfort as well.

Matt and I are at home for Thanksgiving in good old Gilmer, East Texas, aka "the Shire". Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Ok, ok

2008-11-22T11:06:00.007-06:00

Sorry that it's been so long since I've blogged. I pretty much quit as soon as I found out I was pregnant because I just couldn't blog and have to leave out a huge detail in my life and we just weren't ready to tell everyone yet. But I promise that there will be much more blogging to come since I have to keep everyone updated on the baby now. Here is the blurb I posted on facebook.

Babycenter - 11 Weeks
We got to see this today for real on a sonogram and it was so exciting! Our baby is about the size of a lime and it was really wiggly! It was so fun to watch, and the doctor said it has really long legs. If you didn't know I was pregnant, well SUPRISE! After previously having 2 early miscarriages within 6 months of each other, I've been pretty anxious, so it feels good to be this far along. Our due date is June 10th. My dad passed away on June 9th of this year and I feel this verse sums up my feelings right now. I feel overwhelmed with blessings and I'm so happy!

1 Samuel 2:6-10 God brings death and God brings life, brings down to the grave and raises up. God brings poverty and God brings wealth; he lowers, he also lifts up. He puts poor people on their feet again; he rekindles burned-out lives with fresh hope, Restoring dignity and respect to their lives— a place in the sun!

Ready Made

2008-09-27T10:59:00.009-05:00

I am ridiculously excited about this new magazine that I found. Well actually I got the offer in the mail, and it worked. It's called Ready Made (readymade.com) and it has a bunch of really neat do-it-yourself projects that you can make out of junk around the house, or simple inexpensive stuff from the hardware store. If you are not into this kind of stuff, you'll probably find it boring, but I can't wait to make some of it already. Here are a couple of projects I really like.

Hammer Time (cost: $40, 1-3 hrs):

Ok, so the table might be sort of manly and I'm not sure where I'd put it, but I really liked it. Here's a more girlie project.

What a Sham: Pencil Skirt (It's made out of a pillow case)

Here's a shelf made out of vintage suitcases. I see those at goodwill all the time and I always want to buy them for some reason. I know I would never use them as luggage, so I talk myself out of it. This is the perfect project for me!

Loads & Loads of Skinks & Toads

2008-09-23T22:41:00.011-05:00

I worked outside in Mom's flower garden yesterday and today and I've forgotten how many bugs and critters there are around here (some not-so-pleasant). Here's a list of just what I found today. None of these pictures are mine (courtesy of google images), but I did take a picture of the Black Widow Spider I killed (after I partially squished it) and of a green tree frog that I saw. I may post those later. I think it was actually the same frog that went for a ride in the car with mom and I in my previous post. He likes to stick to the living room window. I guess it's more comfortable than trees. One of the things that fascinates me are skinks. They look like snakes, but with legs, and they have a bright blue tale. They are actually neary extinct in Connecticut, but we have plenty here. I can never get a picture of those because they're too fast. I saw something else today that was really weird. At first I thought it was a snake, but it moved like a lizard. However, it did not have legs!?! Turns out there is such a thing as a legless lizard, but I'm not sure if that's what it was or not. It was light brown and really fast! It ooks me out just talking about it. One of my favorite classic East Texas creatures is the green anole lizard. They are fast, but you can still catch them. Although, the older I get, the harder it is to nab one. When you catch them they hold their mouth open until something gets close enough for them to bite. We used to stick them on our ear lobes like earrings when I was little. We thought it was funny until I got one stuck on my ear that wouldn't let go. Lastly, I found a nest of yellowjackets while I was trying to trim some vines on the porch. I was able to find some wasp spray (mom always has some handy around the house) and take care of them. Oh, and I also found a toad when I got here on Friday. I did get a picture of that one and I'll post it later. I wanted to keep it as a temporary pet, but mom & Matt ganged up against me and wouldn't let me keep it. ):

Below: Green Tree Frog
Below: Yellow Jacket Nest

Below: Green Anole Lizard (can change from green to brown, depending on surroundings)
Below: Black Widow Spider
Below: 5 Stripe Skink

Holiday at Home (british accent)

2008-09-02T13:51:00.015-05:00

I had a lovely holiday at home with my family over Labour Day weekend.

Mom and I took a plant and some watering cans to Dad's cemetery and we found a little friend living in one of the watering cans, a bright green tree frog. I was nagging mom not to spill the watering cans and when I looked back at them, there he was, just hanging out enjoying the ride. The picture is a little blurry, but the best I could get my camera to do. I'm not scared of frogs, but it startled me horribly and I screamed bloody murder. Of course, then mom screamed bloody murder too. Mom tried to make me throw it out on the side of the road, but I made her take it back home to the garden. How would you like it if someone took you from your home and threw you out on the side of the road? Anyhow, we saw him on the porch the next day and he looked so cozy and happy there. I think he was trying to tell me thanks for not ditching him on the road.

This was a ginormous head stone at the cemetery. It looks way more amazing in person, but you get an idea of how big it is. I was trying to look serious in the picture, I mean we were at the cemetery, but I just ended up looking dorky.

I suppose normal people don't put pictures like this up, but the fact that dad is gone is a big part of my life right now. I guess that's why I'm posting this.

I finished off the day with a good mowing. I now feel in tune with my country roots. Next time maybe I'll bush hog the pasture.

Poor, Poor Pelican

2008-08-31T02:57:00.005-05:00

I'm at home visiting my mom right now, and at the moment, unable to sleep. We've had so much fun together so far (I got here on Friday night). Today we recounted the memories of our favorite Pelican, fondly remembered by those who loved him as "George". He was a casualty of my wildlife rescue program (which consists of me rescuing things I deem in need of rescue). It all started on a fishing trip to Gilmer Lake with Johnny. I saw the poor, one-winged pelican swimming around in the lake, his wing stub bleeding and oozy. I was sure that whatever tragic accident that had caused him to lose his wing must have happened recently. My cognative skills quickly alerted me to the fact that if I did not rescue Mr. Pelican, that he would surely die. Johnny reluctantly drove the boat round and round him, while I hung over the side with the fishing net, trying to scoop him up to safety. This, in and of itself would have proved wildly entertaining to bystanders, had there been some. Somehow, eventually, I got ahold of the Pelican, who didn't seem to be aware that I was rescuing him. I realized quickly that his giant bill (the longest of all birds at a foot and a half) was a weapon not to be reckoned with. I couldn't tell if he was trying to bite my head off or poke my eye out, but looking back on it I think it was both. I held on to the pelican for dear life (mine and his) while I tried to keep both of my eyes in tact. Johnny had to pull the truck and trailer up and load the boat completely by himself since holding the pelican took so much concentration. During all of this, I think the he pooped twice, all over the place (the pelican of course, not Johnny), which didn't help the situation much at all. I managed to get to the passenger seat of the truck for the 15 minute ride home, during which I fervently prayed that he would not poop again. We pulled up to the house, both Johnny and I still possesing two eyes and the pelican still having a beak. I got out of the truck and made it to a bench on the front porch. My dear grandmother happened to be visiting us at the time and she stood at the door to watch. I'm pretty sure she thought I was crazy, but was glad to have a little entertainment. While I held poor pelican, mom tried to find some sort of bird rescue place or vet clinic that could help him. Turns out not everyone has the same fervor for rescuing large, helpless birds as I do. During all this looking and calling on the phone, I grew more and more weary of trying to hold pelican in one place, getting pooped on, and still keeping my eyeballs. Mom ended up finding a bird rescue center in Dallas, which was farther than we wanted to drive, but they did give us a valuable piece of information. They said if we needed to set the bird down that we could put some pantyhose around his body and wings to keep him from trying to fly and flapping his wing around. Ready for a break, we cut up some old panty hose and slipped them on as directed. I cautiously set pelican down, expecting him to sit still and relax. After all, isn't that what birds do when you put pantyhose on them? And although he couldn't flap his one lonely wing, he could run like an Olympic marathoner and proceeded to bolt straight for the highway that runs in front of our house. I ran frantically after him while he continued to try and fend me of with his machete-like bill. Thankfully I managed to catch him at the end of the driveway before he waddled onto the highway. At this point I think we all realized that we had gotten in over our heads and we weren't sure what to do about the situation. Finally we decided to take him to a pond down the road and release him back into the wild temporarily until we could find someone who would help him. When we got back home, mom called the local game warden and told him of our dilema and how we had captured the bird. The game warden responded with a laugh, telling my mom that that wasn't just any wounded pelican, that was George, who had been swimming around one-winged for the past 5 years on that lake. Apparently all the regulars at the lake had named him and enjoyed coming to the lake to visit him. What an unserendipitous day it turned out to be for George. We never did recapture him, but for the next several months I waved at him when I passed his pond on the way to school as I said a thankful prayer that I still had both of my eyes. I'm not sure what happened to him after that, but I am sure that he would have been better off if I had left him alone on that fateful day at the lake and I've decided to leave wild animal rescue to the professionals (especially if the wild animals have large, sharp beaks).

The OlymPicnic

2008-08-15T01:35:00.005-05:00

August 13th was our 3 year wedding anniversary! It's really been 3 wonderful years and I love love love being married to Matt. He is AMAZING! However, it turned out to be just a rough day for me and when Matt came home from work with flowers and a card, I was asleep on the couch, having accomplished not much all day and Matt was pretty tired too. When I woke up, I convinced Matt to take a nap to distract him while I tried to come up with a way to make our day special, even if it wasn't spectacular. So I came up with the Olympicnics. Basically we had a picnic in our living room (it was raining outside), delivery from our favorite Italian food restaurant, and the Olympics. And it turned out to be a really good anniversary day after all. I think we'll always remember the Olympicnics.

2008-08-12T18:53:00.002-05:00

When things fall apart, I miss my dad even more. It seems like anytime stuff started to crumble, I would call home and dad would answer the phone. Half the time I didn't even have to tell him what was going on. It was just a comfort to talk to him and he always had this amazing way of making you feel better. It seemed like dad knew everything. I sure could use a conversation with dad right now.

More Antiphospholipids and Faith (part 2)

2008-08-11T23:28:00.005-05:00

Before I get started, let me say, I just checked out Matt's blog and it is way cooler than mine. (: I'm going to have to work on my coolness factor here.

I talked to the nurse shortly after my last post and she said that my "clotting levels" or whatever you call them are only slightly elevated. Not sure if that is good or bad. It's good of course, but if that isn't the problem, there must be another problem. Maybe it only takes slightly high levels for it to be a problem. The nurse didn't really know enough to give me any more information, so I'll just have to wait for my next appointment to find out more. I know that whatever happens, it's going to be OK. I just hate all this testing stuff, so please pray for me.

OK, now Faith Part 2. When we were at camp in Ruidoso we were blessed to be able to hear Marilyn Laszlo speak about her missions experience developing the written language of a tribe along the Sepik river in Papua New Guinea and then translating the Bible into the language. She had lots of incredible stories to share and one thing that really stuck out to me was the incredible faith that the believers there had. These believers had never even heard of Jesus before Marilyn came to their village, yet their faith was so enormous. Here in the US, we have somewhere to turn any time we have a problem. In the event of an emergency - call 911, if you are stuck on the side of the road - call AAA, we depend on our careers and finances in order to provide for our families, and when we get sick we call a doctor. The people in the villages believed so wholeheartedly in the God that Marilyn told them about, that they turned to Him when they needed help, when a situation seemed hopeless. Here is a story she shared with us. I can't tell it as well as she does but I will just share the gist of it. She was training some of the village boys on how to operate the outboard canoe that they used to take supplies up the river back to the village. On their first trip the boys only filled up 4 gas tanks instead of the 5 needed to get all the way back upstream to the village. Running out of gas posed great danger for everyone on the canoe. It was impossible to paddle up stream with the canoe weighted down so heavily with supplies. They would have to drift 4 days back downstream before they would be able to get any help. They ran out of gas at night while Marilyn was sleeping. The boys woke her up and told her the motor wasn't working. This is when she discovered they only filled up 4 gas tanks. She was furious with the boys and hopeless about the situation. The boys told her to shut her mouth and to quit talking and they said (This is straight from Marilyn's book, Mission Possible),

"Marilyn, you've told us that God has created everything - the moon, the stars, the sun - and nothing ever falls down. That is a lot of power. You've told us that God knows where we are at all times. He knows we need gas. Papa God, we are really in trouble. We are still an hour away from our village. But, Papa God, you said 'Be there', and all those stars started shining. The moon tonight, the sun tomorrow. All those things you made never fall down. It takes great power to hold all those stars up above us. If one of them fell, it would kill us and crush every tree. Papa God, you have much power. You walked on the water. What is it for you to make our engine push us home? It would be nothing to you, Papa God!"

Talk about faith. I really needed to hear this story. How often is God the last place we turn to when we have a "situation" in our lives? It seems like I wait until all other possibilities are exhausted and then I turn to prayer. What a weak faith. What a wrong attitude.

To find out how the story ends, I have the book if anyone wants to borrow it, or you can purchase the book on her website - http://www.laszlomissionleague.com/. It is under the "Support" tab. I definitely recommend reading this book. But don't take my word for it.

Antiphospholipid Antibodies & Faith (part 1)

2008-08-04T18:31:00.009-05:00

The nurse from my doctor's office called today and said that blood tests I recently took show that I have increased levels of blood clotting. (I don't know if that's the proper term.) I need to call her back for some more clarification, but I know they tested me for Antiphospholipid antibodies and Anti-Cardiolipin antibodies. A more common term for this problem is "sticky blood" and it is an immune system disorder that causes excessive blood clotting. Approximately 2% of the normal population supposedly has this problem. It frequently causes women to have miscarriages and it could be my problem. I guess it's good to know what the problem is, but I certainly wouldn't have guessed that that this was it. I'm pretty disappointed because this means I'll never be able to have a normal happy-go-lucky pregnancy. You have to see the doctor more frequently and have a lot of testing and ultrasounds during pregnancy. The pregnancy is more likely to have problems and it can also cause babies to be born prematurely. But the good news is that a lot of times it can be treated simply with baby aspirin. I also read that Omega-3 fatty acids, folic acid, and fish oils can help the problem as well. I have a lot to be thankful for because it is treatable. It could have been something a lot worse. Anyhow, this is not what I wanted to blog about, but I just found out today and it's good to get this out.

What I want to blog about is faith. God has been constantly challenging me the last 3 weeks about my faith or lack thereof. This started when we were at Camp Zephyr in Sandia, Texas. I believe that God specifically showed me a "word" and I believe from that moment expected me to have the faith that he would do what he promised. So I began to seek out the stories in the Bible of individuals that God called by faith to see how they responded. Here are a few:

-Noah: God told him he was going to flood the world and told him to build an ark. Noah's first response? He did everything that God commanded.

-Abraham: God called him to leave his home and go to a foreign land. Abraham's response? Abraham obeyed and went.

-The Shunammite Woman: Elijah told her that in a year she would have a son. Her response? "No, my lord. Don't mislead your servant, O man of God!" She became pregnant and gave birth to a son a year later. I guess she responded this way because she was afraid to get her hopes up.

-Sarah: God promised her that she would have a child in her old age. Her response? Laughter.

-The crippled, lame, blind, and sick: They called on Jesus in faith to heal them and he did.

-Jesus said, "If you have the faith of a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from her to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

I believe that he is going to do what he said, but sometimes I let that doubt creep in. I feel like the Shunamite women. Yes, I want what he's promised, but I don't want to get my hopes up because I'm afraid. And then I'm not really having faith, am I? I have so much to learn, so far to go. I'm so thankful that God is so merciful and kind to me even though I don't deserve it in the least. More to come on faith. I just didn't want to make this post too long.

We are still in Glorieta, New Mexico at the Lifeway Collegiate Conference and we'll be home on August 8th. It has really been a blessing to be a part of it and the week has gone well so far. I think I've only been at home a total of 12 days all summer and not even in a row, so I'm looking forward to some home time and hopefully getting to visit my family some too. Here's a couple of pics of Glorieta.

Sneaky Grief

2008-07-22T23:52:00.004-05:00

Sometimes this wave of sadness sneaks up on me at the most random times. All of a sudden a poignant memory of Dad will pop up in my head and for just a moment I smile, but then the wave washes over me and I feel weak and limp. Today it was while I was using a push-broom to sweep the driveway. A push-broom. It made me think of the first time I tried to use one. I was helping Dad clean up his shop when I was about 6 years old I think. I was trying to use the push-broom like a regular broom and it obviously didn't work too well. Dad laughed and in his usual kind and patient way, showed me how to use it properly.

RJ

2008-07-09T23:09:00.002-05:00

Laney and I met a camper named RJ when we were at NetXtreme camp in Lone Star while we were fishing on the docks. Laney mentioned that he was a really friendly guy and that people must tell him that often. Then he said, "Not really. I have Turrets and all the kids at school treat me like crap." We tried to encourage him as much as we could and really enjoyed getting to know him during camp. He was 15 years old and just a really nice kid. He knew EVERYTHING about fishing. On the last day I told him that I had just lost my dad and he was really concerned. Anyhow, he sent the following funny and sweet message through the Pearl Mercant website and I just thought I would share it with you, typos and all. I just think it's cool how God gives encouragement from unexpected places sometimes.

Hey how yall doing its R.J. just wanted too say hi and wish yall luck Sarah Im sorry about your dad and Im prayin for ya I think it takes a srong person to stay like you did, just think though your dad is in a better place he is next Jesus at the dinner table. Rember God can move the mountions and he is mighty to save.

Your freind R.J.

Day in the Life of a Germaphobe

2008-07-08T15:59:00.004-05:00

Here we are in Arkadelphia, Arkansas. I'm not sure how we got here, it's all a blur with all the traveling we've been doing. This week is Reach Camp at Ouachita Baptist University. Everyone hates the complainer, so I tell you this more as a documentary than a complaint. And I also hope that you find the humor in imagining me in a complete cleaning frenzy. I am a self confessed "germaphobe". Yes, I know it's not a real word. I already checked. Back to the complaining, I mean, documenting. We are staying in the girls dorms on campus - Francis Crawford Hall to be precise and it is very dirty. I would rather camp in a swamp than stay in a dirty dirty room, so this is a bit of a stretch for me. The place we stayed in Honduras seems like a luxury suite compared to here. I hate being obsessive compulsive about germs, I really do, but I'm afraid that it's a fact that I cannot change. I do not consider myself to be a diva and I don't mind staying in plain rooms, tiny rooms, ugly rooms, boring rooms, or even tents. But a dirty room is a whole other story. There was mildew galore in the shower, 2 inches of gooey dust collected around the door jambs and in corners, stained worn mattresses, carpet hasn't been vacuumed for 2 semesters, etc, etc. So the first night here, we went to Wal-mart and bought cleaning supplies and I cleaned for 2 hours! One small room and tiny bathroom - 2 hours. I also had to buy plastic covers for the mattresses. I do believe the stock went up today for Lysol disinfectant wipes.

PS - I know that you read this blog, my technology-challenged family, so leave me a comment. You don't have to have an account or blog to leave one. Just click on the bottom where it shows the number of comments and you can enter your name and email address to leave a comment - easy as pie. XOXO

Tangled Emotions

2008-06-30T15:53:00.001-05:00

Any of you reading this probably already know that my dad moved on from the earthly to the heavenly on June 9th. He had a heart attack a few days before that and they speculate that his heart tissue died through all three layers from the damage that it caused and it could no longer support it's own pressure. (I'm not a medical person, but I hope that makes sense.) He was recovering in the hospital and was supposed to go home later that day. I was already 3 hours out of 8 on my way from Lubbock to Gilmer whenever I got the call. I will never forget the rest of the drive - it was horrible. I'm SO thankful for the people God provided for me to talk to on the phone until I finally made it.

I've heard a lot of people say that there are 5 or 7 stages of grief. There's a lot of clinical information out there about it, but I think the "tangled ball of emotions" description is more accurate. I wish I could articulate better right now, but I guess I'm still just numb. I've had a lot on my brain lately between thoughts of dad, sadness for not just my loss but also for my brothers and my mom, some scripture that has become extremely real to me during this time, thoughts from other people on death and heaven, and encouragement from friends. Here is some of it, in no particular order. I "bolded" the things that really stuck out to me.

Jesus died at exactly the right time - when God scheduled it.

It's amazing how much more more I "get" the things dad always tried to teach me, now that he's gone.

Dad never said anything bad about anybody, whether it was people he knew or not. I used to get in trouble for making fun of people on Wheel of Fortune. Dad truly saw all people through the eyes of Jesus. This is something I need to work on!

I used to imagine souls in heaven kind of like a bunch of glowing bumble bees buzzing around up in heaven with nothing to do. (Matt got a good hearty laugh out of this.)

Several people have said stuff like, well you can never be "ready" to lose a parent. I guess they are trying to make me feel better about the fact that it was so sudden, but it really bugs me when people say stuff like that. Of course no one is ever ready to lose someone they love, but it would have been nice to have been able to say goodbye before he was gone.

In high school, there was a girl in my youth group, Jill, that lost her dad suddenly to a brain aneurysm and she posted this on my facebook "It's amazing how God's grace surrounds you during everything, but it doesn't make things any easier." And I can definitely say that's true. I can't count how many times I've prayed for God to give grace to others going through difficult times although never really understanding the true meaning or depth of that. It's not exactly what you think it is and it doesn't always come in the form that you expect it.

Now I further saw, that betwixt them and the gate was a river; but there was no bridge to go over, and the river was very deep. At the sight, therefore, of this river the pilgrims were much stunned; but the men that went with them said, You must go through, or you cannot come at the gate. The pilgrims then began to inquire if there was no other way to the gate. To which they answered, Yes; but there hath not any, save two, to wit, Enoch and Elijah, been permitted to tread that path since the foundation of the world, nor shall until the last trumpet shall sound. The pilgrims then, especially Christian, began to despond in their mind, and looked this way and that, but no way could be found by them by which they might escape the river. Then they asked the men if the waters were all of a depth. They said, No; yet they could not help them in that case; for, said they, you shall find it deeper or shallower as you believe in the King of the place. Then they addressed themselves to the water, and entering, Christian began to sink, and crying out to his good friend Hopeful, he said, I sink in deep waters; the billows go over my head; all his waves go over me. Selah. Then said the other, Be of good cheer, my brother: I feel the bottom, and it is good. -from Pilgrims Progress by John Bunyan.

Ecclesiastes 3:11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

"Do you think you're the first man to lose someone? That's what life is all about: Loss. But we don't use it as an excuse to destroy ourselves. We go on. All of us." -from the movie Wyatt Earp, said by Earp's father after Wyatt lost his wife.

In heaven we are going to continue to study God because the ideas of God go on for all of eternity. - Jonathan Edwards

1 Corinthians 15:35-58
But someone may ask, "How are the dead raised? With what kind of body will they come?" How foolish! What you sow does not come to life unless it dies. When you sow, you do not plant the body that will be, but just a seed, perhaps of wheat or of something else. But God gives it a body as he has determined, and to each kind of seed he gives its own body. All flesh is not the same: Men have one kind of flesh, animals have another, birds another and fish another. There are also heavenly bodies and there are earthly bodies; but the splendor of the heavenly bodies is one kind, and the splendor of the earthly bodies is another. The sun has one kind of splendor, the moon another and the stars another; and star differs from star in splendor. So will it be with the resurrection of the dead. The body that is sown is perishable, it is raised imperishable; it is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory; it is sown in weakness, it is raised in power; it is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body. If there is a natural body, there is also a spiritual body. So it is written: "The first man Adam became a living being"; the last Adam, a life-giving spirit. The spiritual did not come first, but the natural, and after that the spiritual. The first man was of the dust of the earth, the second man from heaven. As was the earthly man, so are those who are of the earth; and as is the man from heaven, so also are those who are of heaven. And just as we have borne the likeness of the earthly man, so shall we bear the likeness of the man from heaven. I declare to you, brothers, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed— in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality. When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: "Death has been swallowed up in victory." "Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?" The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

John 16:22
Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice and no one will take away your joy...

I think it is truly amazing how God works through deep pain and sorrow to strengthen relationships, with Him and the people in your life.

I really miss my dad.

Missing Dad

2008-06-15T01:13:00.001-05:00

87-year old bark thief on the loose!

2008-06-04T08:18:00.000-05:00

About 2 weeks ago, I raked all the bark out of my front yard flower bed in attempt to hoe up the dirt. I put it on the side of the house for reuse after the plants were all in. Since then, I've put in a few plants here and there as I've had a chance. Yesterday I finally got to put in more plants to finish up most of it and re-bark it. I had a couple of new bags of bark that I hoped combined with the old would be enough. Our little old lady next door neighbor, Betty wandered out in her front yard as well. She came over and looked at my flowers and we chatted about the perils of gardening (bugs, hail, etc.). And I thought to myself, what a sweet little old lady. Also, she just could not stop complementing my bark (made of Cypress trees and promised not to float). After several compliments, I wondered if she believed I had shredded it to perfection myself. Finally, Betty went home and I went back to my planting. About half an hour later I finished putting in the last of my flowers and decided to top it of with a nice coat of bark. I went expectantly to the side of the house to scoop up my bark pile and there was not a shred of bark left. I now understood the lavish compliments on the bark. The reason she loved it so much was because she was using MY bark in her garden. She had scooped up my entire pile and I mean, she didn't even leave a shred of bark for me. I just had to laugh. Old people are so quirky. I wonder what my quirks will be when I'm old.

Who knew there was such a thing as "full service"?

2008-05-15T17:04:00.000-05:00

I sure didn't. I nearly ran out of gas today and just in the nick of time pulled into a gas station. To my dismay, it was a fake old gas station. It was all grown up with weeds and there were no gas pumps. However, the large Chevron sign is what lured me in I suppose. It still looked big, bright, and blue. My car sputtered to a stop where the non-existent pumps were. Hmmm, maybe it'll restart. It did, and I saw to my sheer delight some gas pumps across the street. Turns out it was a car care place/full service gas station. Like they pump it for you! Ah, sweet serendipity. The man told me it was almost$4.00 a gallon since they are a full service station (which means they pump it for you) and I thought, "Well where isn't it nearly $4.00 a gallon?". So I told him to put in $10.00 (remember when that would get you half a tank?) which barely got me above the "E". I then realized when he said "almost $4.00 a gallon" he may have slightly abused the word "almost" since the price per gallon was $3.999. Oh well, at least I didn't have to hike to a gas station. I'm still pretty excited that you can just pull in and they wash your winshield, check your tires, and fill it up for you. Pretty neat-o I think.

Tornado Chaser and Killer Horses of the Night

2008-05-12T16:24:00.000-05:00

I hope that everyone had a wonderful mother's day weekend! I did, although it was a little crazy and rushed. Matt and I went with Pearl Merchant to Longview to do a children's musical. And of course we got to see our Mommas too. And other than that, I'd have to say the trip highlight was seeing a tornado chaser/research vehicle at a gas station. It was like seeing the batmobile in real life. Pretty cool. Another "exciting thing" that happened was that Matt & I almost rammed 2 or 3 horses in the middle of the road at night while we were driving from his parents house to my parents. God was protecting us and Matt says it's a good thing that he's played plenty of car racing video games so he knew how to maneuver. Thank you, God, for video games.

And, as a follow up to the last post, I think I did kill my rosebush.

2008-05-08T12:11:00.000-05:00

I just nearly busted through my garage door today. Whew. And don't spray vinegar on rosebushes, it kinda messes up the leaves. I hope I didn't kill it.

Something New

2008-05-07T10:44:00.000-05:00

I love the idea of blogging, but I've never gotten into it. So, today it's time to try something new. I hope that many serendipitous moments will come from it. (: I wish I had more to say or something profound to share, but I really don't, but stay tuned - more to come.